Effective Communication in a Fast Moving World

Most people will agree that breakdowns in communication are often the culprit when things go wrong.  The following points are basic "blocking and tackling" reminders for interpersonal communication.  The digital revolution we are living through is changing the way we communicate.  With the speed at which information is now shared and the sheer volume that we encounter each day, communicating effectively is more important than ever.


The first reminder is that communication is a Two-Way street.  Human nature has us far more focused on the outgoing message than what is coming in.  This is exactly the opposite of how we should perceive communication.  The old adage "seek first to understand, then to be understood" rings true here.  The more we know BEFORE we communicate, the more pertinent, concise and effective our message will be.  This will lead to desired results.


Listening


Listening is extremely difficult because your mind is processing information at about 2000 words per minute while those speaking are spitting it out at about 300 to 400 words per minute.  When someone speaks to us our minds jump ahead to finish sentences and thoughts for the speaker.  We begin to formulate an opinion of their point and a response before they have finished speaking.  How many times do you have to repeat yourself because the other party didn't listen to you all the way through.  We have to listen actively and listen well enough to be able to repeat what was just said to us.  As some say, listen empathically so that you truly understand the other person's point of view.


Another factor that works against us is that our favorite sound is our own voice rather than someone else’s  We tend to listen with the intention of responding rather than learning.  Remember, it is the quality of what you say rather than the quantity.  You must listen first in order to deliver quality.
A physiological factor that makes listening difficult is ego.  Face it, we all have a sense of pride.  If we allow someone else’s thoughts change the way we think, we might actually feel like we have lost and they have won.  People are competitive by nature and we must be aware of this tendency.   A great example is like when a person of opposing political beliefs tries to get you to see things their way.  You assume a defensive posture and constantly prepare counter-points to their messages.  Your mind is closed and getting your points across is all you are concerned about. 


How important is listening?  Psychologists say that one of the most basic psychological needs of people is to be understood. People feel understood when you’ve listened to them.  How we can be better listeners?


• Refrain from interrupting—often the tendency when someone brings us a problem…jump right in and start solving.


• If people are talking about their feelings, a response with a solution may back fire. Simply start by  acknowledging that you understand how they feel.


• People really feel understood when you repeat back what they’ve said to you.


• Know you don’t always have to solve their problem (more in personal than business situations) but is very important with angry customers.


• Ask clarifying questions.  This shows interest and that you’re tuned in.


• Use non-verbals, nodding, uh huhs, and so on


• Check for understanding…So what you’re saying is …



Effective Speaking
Non-Verbal 93% of what is communicated is non-verbal.  Be conscious of your tone and even the speak with which you speak.  Matching the tempo of the person you are addressing will actually make them more comfortable and will help them capture your message.  Also, remember the all important action of making eye contact while you speak.  It helps keep the listener engaged and demonstrates integrity of your message.

Additional speaking tips include the following:
• After giving instructions or when teaching especially, ask for a repeat back “To ensure that I said this properly, please tell me the message I conveyed”.  Wording it this way puts the onus of effective communication on you rather than them.  Avoid asking someone "Do you understand what I just said?" or "Do you follow me?" as it will typically elicit a "yes" because the listener will not want to admit that they missed your message.

• Try to speak about others as if you would if they were in the room.  If you speak critically of someone in a way that you would not if they were present, listeners will lose respect for you and lose your message.

• With all of the e-mailing that goes on, remember that most people can speak 8 to 10 times faster than they can type.  Pick up the phone!


• Avoid leaving the voice message “please call me”. Tell people exactly what you are looking for and ask them to leave detail on your voice mail if you don’t pick up when they call you back.  This is a huge time saver and will eliminate most games of phone tag.


• Consider using this voice mail greeting…"I am sorry I missed your call.  Please leave a detailed message, I or the appropriate party will return your call as soon as possible.  Thank you."

Written

Now that e-mail and even text messaging has become so prevalent, consider these tips to increase your effectiveness and professionalism:


• Use spell check.  Your attention to detail reflects upon the quality of the work you do. 

• In e-mail and texts messages, be careful with upper case letters.  Words or sentences with all upper case come across as if you are yelling electronically.

• Only write what you would say face to face.  I've seen some horrible e-mail messages in the work place and most of these would never have been spoken face to face.  If you are angry pick up the phone, schedule a face to face, or simply take some time to cool off before you start typing.

• Less is more.  Edit written messages before sending and eliminate as much as you can while maintaining the key message.  People deal with more messages today than ever before.  Get your point across briefly to ensure that it is comprehended.





Jim Pascale is a 20+ year veteran of consulting with small business owners and has comprehensive knowledge of small business management and franchising. Contact Jim at jimpascaleminnesota@yahoo.com.